“We can’t bust heads like we used to—but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.”
dwkeith says
Well look at that: an onion story that is also not The Onion.
Sniffy4 says
wrong subreddit.
2doublesanda20piece says
Does he tie the onion to his belt?
HypotheticalElf says
Haha, so this time it *IS* the onion!
MasyMenosSiPodemos says
Keeps the yellow spotted lizards away
ValiantFrog2202 says
It’s funny my wife did this without me knowing to our son. I was changing his socks in the morning and out popped an onion
the70sdiscoking says
“Peaches and onions!”
ParadeSit says
r/itistheonions
FullyStacked92 says
“We can’t bust heads like we used to—but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.”
RookTheGamer says
I think this one is the onion…