| Category: General
So- they are basically the same as some human women…
*”We’re not so different, you & I..”*
Maybe that’s where my wife learned it
Turns out, I may actually be a male frog.
Gurl, I get you.
Would that stop human males?
Why’d you have to bring my fiancee into this? I mean certainly her consumption of cigarettes and gummies was suspect for a corpse but after watching The Dead Don’t Die for the XXth time, I thought it was par for the course for corpses to consume.
Joking aside, I’m guessing frogs are a bit less necrophiliac than dolphins? They were described as “explosive breeding frogs*,” and it mentioned it was observed in different types of frogs, but I didn’t see the particular types of frogs that had played tonic imobility listed… Did I just miss that on the NPR article or was it not listed?
*According to another [article](https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsos.230742) they witnessed such behavior in common European frogs, Rana temporaria Linnaeus.
Edit: added link and fixed curse to course…
My ex wife was a frog?
Male frog: babe u up
Female frog: *dies*
who says that’s stops them?
TLDR: I played dead to avoid mating with a female.
One time, when I was 19, I went to this college party with my brothers’s gf’s friend who was pretty hot. We had been introduced before and according to brother’s gf, we would be a good match.
She was wearing this white tank top, I’ll never forget that night. That detail will become relevant in a minute.
So we leave the house my brother and I were renting with these girls, and we all go to this house party. We get wasted, have a blast. We just get drunk together and talk, laugh a bunch. Kiss a little bit and decide it’s time to leave. Holding hands on the way out.
We’re walking home in this college town at about… 1:30am? Heading back to our house. Along the way you pass the university, and just so happened the grass was being watered.
We come across an active sprinkler system in one of the yards to a school building. Being drunk and spontaneous we ran threw the sprinkler together haha we’re kissing against the school afterwards and this is where the tank top becomes relevant haha
I’m thinking “holy fuck this is my actual dream.” I was lost in the moment and it was amazing.
So then we get back to my place all wet and shit, and start getting into it. I’m so turned on cause we’ve just had so much fun together. And that’s the kind of thing I get turned on by, laughter and joy and connecting through those emotions.
So her top is off and in undies and on top of my near naked body. Just had undies on myself.
We’re all making out and shit as we sexually progress towards all our sex… but here’s where the title becomes relevant.
Outta nowhere I’m kissing this chick and she fuckin pulls back real quick and sits up, and when she does it she fucking pulls my hair and uncomfortably twists my head to the side. And then slightly tilts her head whilst staring at me, and just lets out the faintest single “ha”. Idk how else to describe it. Fuckin weirded me out. Also like we’ve never fucked? Maybe ask if I’m into that shit first? Lol
But whatever right? We’re this far, I can get past one hiccup cause I’m def not turning this away.
And so we start kissing again, and just when I get it out of my mind fully she does it again. But this time it actually fuckin hurt a bit. And she was smiling all crazy staring at me, and thinking it was funny. But like the amount of time she held my head still was nuts.
During the second time I tried to move my head back to normal and she fucking wouldn’t let me do it! I was like dude ok I’m almost freaked out rn. I watched the movie VHS ok this chick started making think of that demon/alien chick.
Anyways, it happened a third time before I realized this chick might be here to try to fucking kill me. Totally killed my sexual desire for her and I was wasted so I made a decision.
After crossing a direct boundary it killed my sexual desire entirely. And I was wasted so it’s not like I was about to be like “excuse me, I don’t like this, can you please stop?”
So I rolled over, without saying shit and pretended to be asleep. She tried to wake me up but I didn’t break character. “Leave me the fuck alone” I said in my head lol
She got on her phone for a bit and then fell asleep. I fell asleep after her and she’ll literally never know my side of this story lol she was gone when I woke up.
But I was so bummed. It was such a great night and just ended so fucking weird. Never heard from her again after that.
Edit – not renting with the girls, leaving that house with the girls
I tried that too but still got raped.
This wouldn’t stop human men. I’ve tried.
TIL Frogs won’t rape the dead.
Oh, the ex wife jokes are about to be in season here