>She explained to me that they were insulted by the address, and I said well, I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when ladies and gentlemen was a term of respect,” said Perrone. “That’s how I intended it, and I didn’t mean to insult you and was basically told my apology didn’t mean anything and they were going to rescind the offer.
Herein lies the problem. The death of the acceptance of apologies. If an insult is obviously unintentional, the speaker recognizes this and sincerely apologizes, the apology needs to be accpted. If no sequence of words can redeem a person from an accidental linguistic slight, we really don’t have a path forward to a civil society.
I’m in western mass and using the term ‘ladies’ is common at work. Women refer to other women as ‘chick’ as is “that chick who applied for the job…”. And they refer to work people as ‘family’. That’s the cringiest of all for me…
It was like going back 30 years when I took this job….and I moved here from another part of the state!
The truth nobody wants to accept is that people get some form of enjoyment or satisfaction from being offended over things like this. We need to stop entertaining the idea that to be offended is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Let people be offended. We cannot live our lives without the risk of offending or being offended.
Using the internet in large part, we are creating a society in which mistakes are seen as unacceptable, especially when it comes to conforming to social norms (pronouns, things like this), and everybody seems to be okay with shunning and shaming people who dare step outside these new norms. Even if they did so out of ignorance and not hatred. Somehow, we’ve all brainwashed each other into believing that this is done in the name of love and tolerance.
I reject this completely. I will not let these people get the satisfaction of getting the label of victim, because they are not victims, as much as they want to be.
There are real victims of hate crimes, domestic violence, overt racism, etc which are real tangible issues that result in people getting brutalized or killed on a daily basis. Propagating shit like this only serves to harm real victims in the real world.
>She explained to me that they were insulted by the address, and I said well, I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when ladies and gentlemen was a term of respect,” said Perrone.
given his response ⬆️ maybe they decided not to hire bc he self-identifies as having a communication style that is stuck in the past ?
edit: like, maybe if his apology didn’t have that bit about the sizties / seventies attached they would have reconsidered ? if he’d said something that took more ownership over the impact instead of being intent focused ? idk i mean we’ll never know so its whatever but i speculate to try to make sense of this dumpster fire we live on
Why would they be insulted when he didn’t mean to insult them? Politely correct it and move on. I do have to say that every woman I know finds this condescending, but not unfixable.
There has GOT to be more to this story. I refuse to believe that an entire offer of employment was rescinded over an email header of a perfectly polite if somewhat outdated form of address.
The_Paradoxigm says
>, I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when…
I’m not passing judgement on whether they were right to resend the offer or not, but,
That’s not an excuse. Lol
Yes we’re all products of our time, but that doesn’t give you a free pass on not keeping up with modern societal standards.
rxneutrino says
>She explained to me that they were insulted by the address, and I said well, I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when ladies and gentlemen was a term of respect,” said Perrone. “That’s how I intended it, and I didn’t mean to insult you and was basically told my apology didn’t mean anything and they were going to rescind the offer.
Herein lies the problem. The death of the acceptance of apologies. If an insult is obviously unintentional, the speaker recognizes this and sincerely apologizes, the apology needs to be accpted. If no sequence of words can redeem a person from an accidental linguistic slight, we really don’t have a path forward to a civil society.
IknowRambo says
We are fucking doomed if these are the problems we are focusing on.
UnadvertisedAndroid says
Ok, then what was he supposed to address them as? “Idiots”? It fits, but only because of hindsight.
petal14 says
I’m in western mass and using the term ‘ladies’ is common at work. Women refer to other women as ‘chick’ as is “that chick who applied for the job…”. And they refer to work people as ‘family’. That’s the cringiest of all for me…
It was like going back 30 years when I took this job….and I moved here from another part of the state!
luminarium says
The school committee is correct. They’re not ladies.
They’re bitches.
Bitches are not ladies.
Material-Candy-7914 says
The truth nobody wants to accept is that people get some form of enjoyment or satisfaction from being offended over things like this. We need to stop entertaining the idea that to be offended is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Let people be offended. We cannot live our lives without the risk of offending or being offended.
Using the internet in large part, we are creating a society in which mistakes are seen as unacceptable, especially when it comes to conforming to social norms (pronouns, things like this), and everybody seems to be okay with shunning and shaming people who dare step outside these new norms. Even if they did so out of ignorance and not hatred. Somehow, we’ve all brainwashed each other into believing that this is done in the name of love and tolerance.
I reject this completely. I will not let these people get the satisfaction of getting the label of victim, because they are not victims, as much as they want to be.
There are real victims of hate crimes, domestic violence, overt racism, etc which are real tangible issues that result in people getting brutalized or killed on a daily basis. Propagating shit like this only serves to harm real victims in the real world.
[deleted] says
[removed]
_Face says
[Looks like a total Karen](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/04/02/15/69390807-11930177-Cynthia_Kwiecinski_was_the_chairperson_of_the_committee_and_told-a-129_1680445113959.jpg). She is a public figure as well.
datarulesme says
>She explained to me that they were insulted by the address, and I said well, I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when ladies and gentlemen was a term of respect,” said Perrone.
given his response ⬆️ maybe they decided not to hire bc he self-identifies as having a communication style that is stuck in the past ?
edit: like, maybe if his apology didn’t have that bit about the sizties / seventies attached they would have reconsidered ? if he’d said something that took more ownership over the impact instead of being intent focused ? idk i mean we’ll never know so its whatever but i speculate to try to make sense of this dumpster fire we live on
DauOfFlyingTiger says
Why would they be insulted when he didn’t mean to insult them? Politely correct it and move on. I do have to say that every woman I know finds this condescending, but not unfixable.
calvinball14 says
clown world.
ThreeDogs2022 says
There has GOT to be more to this story. I refuse to believe that an entire offer of employment was rescinded over an email header of a perfectly polite if somewhat outdated form of address.
GroundbreakingAd4158 says
He dodged a bullet and should thank them for helping him to avoid making a gigantic mistake in accepting the offer.