bolanrox: i know people who come to work and do nothing all day for far longer than that.
thr33beggars: You gotta wonder, if no one even notices that you’re not there…do you really *have* to go into work?
GallMcOxsbig: I skip for 2 days and the entire god damn company implodes
noc007: There was a post a while back where this person ended up with no boss and no work to do. IIRC their company doing layoffs as part of a merger. Their team was let go and then the boss was let go. Whatever work they did was unceremoniously moved to another group or stopped entirely. He/She would show up and twiddle their thumbs for 8 hours a day. I really wish I could find the post and see what happened later.
TuskenTaliban: From Massachusetts. My ma worked in IT for a company that makes electric heating stuff. She told me that years ago a guy who worked for the company got sick or hurt or something and couldn’t work, so the company would send him a check every week. Problem was that they were sending him a check every week for, quote, “many years” before somebody realized that he had no plans for coming back to work and they stopped sending them. But when that happened, he responded by simply retiring.
I mean, would YOU tell them to stop?
NeedMoneyForVagina: I once worked a ton of overtime because and got my paycheck, only to find out that they doubled the amount of hours I worked, both overtime & regular time. So that check was exceptionally large. That was 14 years ago. Still haven’t been caught.
SmokyDragonDish: > People close to Garcia told El Mundo that he dedicated himself to reading philosophy instead and that he did not report the bullying out of fear that he could be fired.
It’s like something out of *A Confederacy of Dunces*.
kingfish-supreme: The greatest siesta of all!
MulletOnFire: I’m going to refer to this as a “Reverse Milton”.
Desalvo23: i once worked at a call center for 2 and a half months without taking one phone call, not even during training. took them a while to notice
Ramoncin: “For six years, a building supervisor in Spain quietly collected a $41,500 salary from his local government without showing up for work. ”
Methinks he was “awarded” the position by the local authorities and it didn’t matter if he came to work or not. That’s political corruption for you.
RugBurnDogDick: *”I’ll take care of it mañana”*
willingtosmash: We had a master sergeant in the army that had a long running problem with a guy that came into the unit and took the sergeant major position. The sergeant major was directly over the master sergeant and told him to something to the effect of ‘I want you out of my building and don’t you dare come back here until I say so’.
Well the master sergeant followed the order and stayed home, and then kept staying home. The guy ended up on the books but not going to work for several years, to the point that he opened a business in his spare time.
Everyone forgot this guy existed and assumed that a paperwork error was the reason he was still listed as assigned to the unit. Eventually the who fiasco was discovered and the army tried to force the master sergeant to pay back the pay he received, but since he was following a lawful order he wasn’t punished. Instead he was quietly retired.
Xilean: I once got recommended by a friend for a high level position as overall technical lead for the american branch of a norwegian company. Excellent pay, in the heart of San Francisco, great benefits. Super fancy work space and even the promise of yearly team outings to amsterdam. Kind of a dream job. But there was no existing technical infrastructure, and no one who had hired me had any idea of what they actually wanted me to do. I had no mandate. Hell, I didn’t even have a desk, and I was using a personal computer. After sixteen weeks of this, telling them nearly every day I didn’t have a clue what it is they expected me to be doing, but still getting paid for it, I did what might have been a stupid idea — but I just couldn’t take it anymore. It didn’t matter if I came into the office or not. And if I did, it was a coin toss whether i’d have somewhere to sit. And I was always paranoid I’d finally get called into a meeting to demo all the great work I was apparently doing. I ended up just quitting, candidly telling them they didn’t know what they wanted and it felt just a little unethical and not just a little soul sucking to come in every day and do absolutely nothing. And I still got a $10k severance package.
Brodie41: I was 5 minutes late today and my phone rang 4 times between 9:01-9:05.
I want his job.. Or lack thereof
crybannanna: I sort of screwed my self out of being able to do something like this.
Where I work we have a report writing program. Pretty standard stuff. You can build a report and schedule it to run. The fun part was that no one knew that it could do this, in fact, no one knew how to use the program at all. Had to teach myself the ins and outs.
So I go about my days, building reports and scheduling them. Amassed quite a few of them that run at different times. I go on vacation and when I return some folks are thanking me for making sure to send their reports even though I was away. Stupid me, I explain to them it is automated.
Come to realize that no one had any idea that it was automated. Top down. Everyone thought I was doing an incredible amount of work, because all these reports were being sent from my email account. They thought I was working at 4am? Yeah, they did.
Why, oh why, did I ever tell anyone? Because I’m a stupid idiot. Too honest for my own good. I mean, they would have found out eventually, but it would have been a good long time. To this day I’m the only person who is able to use the program.
Dave1962: Wally, from the Dilbert comic strip, would worship this Spanish man.
croixian1: Seriously, if *you* could have gotten away with this, wouldn’t you have?
thomastl1: It would be even better if he was still being *paid*.
l_e_f_t: I wish I could have heard the conversation …
“Excuse me we just noticed you haven’t been here since 2011..”
Auntie_Beeb: The old “Reverse Costanza”.
crunchymush: That’s the dream. Get promoted to a position so fucking pointless that you can not even turn up for 6 years and nobody can tell the difference.
Svani: > Garcia’s attorney, speaking on his behalf, reportedly blamed bullying at his workplace for his absence. He also said there was no work to do.
Well, considering that the plant seemed to work just fine without him, he was likely right.
patman_007: So this guy got paid $249 000 over six years for nothing and only has to pay $30 000 back? Sign me up!
sentimental_goat: Why didn’t he have at least one person at work to have him kept in the loop? Give that person a small portion of the salary as hush hush fee.
THE_LANDLAWD: Yes, I believe you have my stapler?
PieOfJustice: I worked at a restaurant where everytime I went out for a smoke break they would call head office to tell them I walked out.
lvance2: I’m going to start a “paid not payed” bot because it’s an epidemic!
Choco_Churro_Charlie: Siesta Level: *Over 9000.*
RuffRyder98: The US military’s higher ranking enlisted is almost entirely comprised of people who have been skipping work whilst getting paid for years. Nothing new at all.
heisgone: I ended up being paid for 4 months to stay at home doing nothing. It was a weird experience and somewhat depressing. A part of me wanted them to fire me and a part of me enjoyed the situation. When they fired me they even gave me an extra 3 weeks of salaries on top of the mandated 2 so. It seems the boss was feeling guilty of the situation and could get the courage to fire me.
sweYoda: Honestly, he did nothing wrong. His boss however… he should be fired on the spot.
FlipityDipityDoo: > Garcia has since petitioned to the deputy mayor not to pay the fine and to have the judgment reviewed
Don’t show up for 6 years, get paid, and then petition to have the judgement reviewed? The balls on this guy! I love it. I have a new hero.
Ls2323: How in the hell can you be *fined* for not showing up for work????
Makes absolutely zero sense to me. The government did wrong here for not noticing and not firing the man.
bcrabill: Sounds like something George Castanza would do. And after some comment about the sweet life, he’d exclaim “I’M LIVING IT JERRY!”
GodOfAllAtheists: Was he paid too?
mrsuns10: What a lucky man
Mike9797: Living the f–king dream!!
tchristin: Just google corruption Spain and you’ll see this is nothing compared with endless cases.
geofxc: If I’m more than 59 seconds late six times in a 12 month period I’m fired.
Also, and I hate to be that guy, but isn’t whilst while+still? So the title reads “…while still still…” ?
RadSpaceWizard: What would you say… ya DO here?
Early70sEnt: Sounds like about 10% of the City of Chicago and State of Illinois workforce…